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[rebelledforyou]

There was a tear. A gap. A big gaping hole in the fabric of reality. According to Torchwood and to Castiel that was very bad. The hole was big and it wasn't just going to close on it's own. It wasn't a tear in time. It was something worse. It was something dangerous and it needed to be closed.

According to a number of the people who worked at Torchwood it required a certain amount of energy to seal it off. Castiel had a sort of residual energy lingering on his body. It came straight from the big guy upstairs. His body was covered in it. He was human, but the energy was lurking about. In order to seal that up they'd need the equivalent of a nuclear bomb. The energy radiating off his body was a little more than that. He'd be more than enough to close it up.

The idea was out there. There were shocked faces and confused ones. Castiel stood motionless with his arms cross over his chest. He didn't dare look at Rose. Right now he had to shut down and he had to do what needed to be done. That was the important part here. Doing the right thing. Keeping this place safe.

Comments

[huffpuffblonde.livejournal.com]

Pete agreed with him. The scientists agreed with him. All of bloody Torchwood agreed with him.

Rose, on the other hand? Did not.

They had time. They had time to figure out an alternative. All they needed was an explosion, a massive force of outwardly expanding energy to counterbalance the hole, sucking reality forcefully in. It started small. Small things. Then it moved to living things. Then people, whole cars, whole buildings, whole cities being sucked off the face of the planet. Next would be larger, and larger, and larger, from planet to galaxy to everything, until it sucked every bit of the universe dry and imploded.

It was worth the risk.

"You're not doing it." Her arms were crossed over her own chest, and she ignored the existence of the awkwardly shuffling scientist in the room with them.

They'll figure it out. They always figure it out. They just needed time, and the ability to develop a weapon, an explosion large enough.

[rebelledforyou.livejournal.com]

Castiel let out a sigh when she protested. He knew it was coming and right now he couldn't listen to her. He couldn't agree with her. He couldn't reason with her because there was no reasoning with Rose Tyler over things like this. She was a hero, but she was also so incredibly human. Castiel was human in all the right ways, but he still thought like an angel. He was still willing to make that ultimate sacrifice to help the world.

"Not an option." He said and straightened up. He looked at the scientist who made eye contact. He seemed to back out of the room without a verbal command. He'd give them a few, but Castiel didn't need a few. He was going to do this. He needed to do this if she was going to be safe. That mattered a lot to him.

"I'm right, Rose. The energy coming off my body will shut that tear. It will seal it up and you will be safe." He crossed his arms over his chest. "That's the decision. I'm doing it."

[huffpuffblonde.livejournal.com]

She practically glared the scientist out of the room, and kept glaring at the door for a second after he left as if daring him to come back in. As soon as that moment passed, she rounded on him, wide-eyed and gesturing.

That's the decision? Well, first of all, it was a rubbish decision. Second of all, just saying 'that's the decision' didn't make it the decision. It didn't make anything, other than making him look like a total arse.

"I'll be safe when we figure out a plan. That's not the plan. I'm sorry, but no, you're not doing it. I'm not having it. No."

[rebelledforyou.livejournal.com]

He had hardly ever been angry around Rose. There had never been any need to be angry around Rose. It had been easy to be with her. She was incredible and it was just making things simple for the two of them. What was about to happen was going to seem like a complete 360, but this was not out of character for the angel.

"No!" His voice was loud and he took a step towards her. "I'm doing this, Rose! It's the only way. Don't try and tell me you'll find a way because your people have come up with nothing. Their only plan is to nuke it and hope it shuts! That's not a plan! That's human arrogance!" He was human now right? So wasn't his own arrogance as well. What was this?

"I am going to fix this. You will not instruct me otherwise." If only she knew that the only reason he was willing to walk into that stupid hole was to keep her safe.

[huffpuffblonde.livejournal.com]

She stared at him for a second. Lips parted, disbelieving, and stared at him. He so did not diss the group of people he was a part of. He really, genuinely thought he was better than her?

"I dunno what's gotten into you, but you're not waltzing in there and blowing yourself up. I'll instruct you any way I please, you're not just gonna kill yourself and tell me I don't have a say in it. That's not how this works. Who the hell died and made you boss?" She's never seen him angry. He hasn't raised his voice with her. He's always been... calm. Reasonable. Willing to discuss things. Now... well, all it did was raise her hackles, make her fight back harder. She straightened her spine and squared her jaw.

[rebelledforyou.livejournal.com]

He had died multiple times. God had continued to bring him back. He didn't think God would be bringing him back this time, but it didn't matter. She needed to stay safe. He wanted her to go one. She could change a lot of people if she put her mind to it. She made people want to be good. She made Castiel want to be better. She made the former angel want to change.

"My father! My father abandoned us and there is no one in charge now! I am the only one who wants the human race to prevail. My brothers and sisters have stopped caring. Your survival is just a game to them now!" He was angry. He wanted her to stop fighting him. He needed her to stop. It made this so much harder.

"I have to do this. It's the only option. It's the only safe option. They all know it and deep down so do you! So stop being childish and understand that this is the only shit you all have." Was it childish to ask someone to stop caring?

[huffpuffblonde.livejournal.com]

She softened a little at the mention of God. All this time and he still believed God abandoned them, but she just... couldn't. She refused to believe it. She couldn't, deep down. There was something... there, inside her, telling her to have faith. It just... she felt so sorry for him, feeling so empty inside. To be an angel without God was to be a ship with no captain.

"We've been getting on just fine without any help. I've saved worlds. Universes. I can do it again, but I don't-- I don't want to save it if you're not gonna be in it anymore!" She was fierce, stepping into his personal space, eyes flashing, hands curled into fists at her sides. Didn't he understand? If he killed himself, it would mean giving up. It would mean surrender. It would mean she'd be left alone. Again. With nobody. Without him. She didn't want him to go. She wouldn't let him go. Not like that. "You think you're the next highest authority? You're just a man. You're just clouded. You're every bit as equal as everyone else on this planet, you're not... You can't just make the same bloody mistake as last time. There are other people to help you. There's me. We make a decision together."

[rebelledforyou.livejournal.com]

She had saved worlds. He had saved the Earth numerous times as well. This was not a contest though to determine who would handle this. He was the only option they had right now. He was the safest option. They could carry on. That was what this world did. They carried on. They picked up the pieces and they kept right on at it. Rose could that again right?

"Rose." Her name was strained and soft. He shut his eyes and leaned down slightly to press his forehead to hers. He let out a sigh. "You can't stop this, Rose. They can't. I'm doing this for you." He pulled back and stared at her for a moment. "I love you." It hung in the air for a moment before he leaned in to kiss her. He was going to have to do it.

[huffpuffblonde.livejournal.com]

That wasn't fair. That... that really wasn't fair. That was like stealing somebody's crutches. She wanted to be defiant as he moved closer, but the feel of his forehead on hers sucked some of it away. That wasn't fair. He couldn't just... that didn't make it...

They could figure it out. They could... they... her heart broke. She kissed him back, pleadingly, desperately, but her heart broke. Her eyes squeezed shut. It wasn't that he was right. It was that she knew she couldn't stop him. She had explained the definition of love. Giving yourself up for the other person. He wouldn't say it unless he felt it, unless he was sure. Which meant she couldn't keep him from it. Bastard.

She curled her hands into his shirt, pulled away to duck her head down, press her forehead against his shoulder. Squeeze her eyes shut to keep the tears from coming.

"I don't want you to go." It was soft and childlike, probably. Not exactly the words of strength she intended, just a quiet, choked statement. She wasn't the best with goodbyes.

[rebelledforyou.livejournal.com]

Don't do that. Don't use that voice and cry like that. Something inside the angel broke because his posture softened. His body felt tired and more importantly he didn't want to go. He had to be strong though. He had to do what was important for these people. He had to do what was important for Rose. Her mother had told him to treat her right and he was. He was doing just that.

"I won't be gone." He pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. He smiled at her sadly. "All you have to do is remember me, Rose." He held her gaze for another moment before nodding. "I should go out there." His throat felt dry and his arms felt heavy. "You don't have to watch, Rose."

[huffpuffblonde.livejournal.com]

She was just going to stop letting her mum talk to men in her life. Ever again. All it got her was left behind. Stupid mum making men make promises about her safety. Damn it, Jackie.

She looked up at him, shifting to wipe her face clean. She didn't want to look like a sobbing mess, she didn't that to be the last thing he.... oh, god. This wasn't fair. The universe was doing this to her. Again. When was it going to be enough? How many more times would she have to say goodbye? How many more times would she fall, only to have someone ripped from her like this?

No more. Not anymore.

"No, I'm... I'm coming. I'm not letting you go off alone. Don't be thick." She hesitated just a second. Just one more, and shifted to press her lips to his again. Just... just because. And then she pulled back. Took his hand. Looked away. Time to go.

[rebelledforyou.livejournal.com]

He leaned into that last kiss. It wasn't as emotional as the one before, but it was the last one he'd be having. It was soft and he held onto the way her lips felt against his. He'd hold onto her the softness of her hand when he went into that tear. He'd hold onto a New Years Eve just the two of them. Twice. It was all he'd have.

He gripped her hand as they exited out to meet up with the others. He was scared, but he wouldn't admit it. If he admitted then it was not going to end well. He had to be brave. He had to not think about what would happen to him after he was consumed. Would he die or just stop existing?

He did a quick scan of the room and nodded. "I'm ready." For her.

[huffpuffblonde.livejournal.com]

She didn't want him to go. She didn't want him to go. She thought she felt pain once, trapped on the other side of the wall, slapping her palm against it. She thought she felt pain on that beach, saying goodbye to the Doctor. That was nothing compared to the sudden, surprising knife twisting in her chest. Her heart. Her lungs. Her stomach. It all... it hurt, so badly. That wasn't fair. That's not how it was meant to happen. They were... he was... oh, god, did she love him. Sudden and insane, illogical and impossible, but it didn't matter. Maybe she should have said it before now. Maybe she should have done more. If she'd known they were running out of time...

She'd have run. She'd have taken him and run, far and forever, across the stars, but not this. She'd never have been prepared for this. This wasn't fair.

Before she could react, the lab-workers were tugging him away, seemingly ignorant of their joined hands, which were tugged apart. "Wait, hang on, but I--"

She wasn't ready! Then again, though, would she ever really be? One of them led her back despite her protests. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real.

[rebelledforyou.livejournal.com]

Just like that they were moving. They were just as anxious to stop this from consuming the world. They wanted to keep the whole world safe. Castiel had just wanted to keep her safe. It was selfish and silly. It was so very human of him to think of one life. That was probably a good thing. It was because of her that he could do this.

He gripped her hand a bit tighter as they were pulling him away. He kept his eyes on her because he didn't know where else to look. He didn't want to look at the tear. He didn't want to look at his death. He wanted to look some place happy. Maybe that was why he looked back at Dean when the souls were ripped from his body and shoved back into Purgatory.

He came to a stop as he looked over his shoulder at her. It was deja vu. He was standing in front of a great gaping vortex and the one person he trusted was forced to watch on. "Tea fixes everything right, Rose Tyler?" His smile was weak as he stepped into the vortex. She had told him once that a good cup of tea could fix anything. The smile faded as he let out a pained yell as the energy was pulled from him.

[huffpuffblonde.livejournal.com]

Tea wouldn't fix him. Tea wouldn't fix the hole where her heart was supposed to be. She wanted to stop him. She changed her mind. She changed her mind. This was wrong. This couldn't happen. Stop it. Stop it. For the life of her, she couldn't move. She wanted to struggle against the scientist who held her firmly by her upper arms, but she couldn't. She could only watch, eyes wide, lips parted, as he stepped in. His last smile, and it wasn't even real. She'd never see it again.

Oh, god.

The light was blinding and all encompassing as the energy was ripped from his body. Arms were thrown back, and, just for a second in the dazzling light, she could swear she saw wings.

She brought up an arm to cover her eyes, struggled to see through the blinding white.

A second later, it was gone.

The tear closed with the shimmering ripple of balled up paper in the form of light, and there was nothing.

Nothing.

Her arms fell to her sides. The lab assistant moved away, to the machines, checking signs, but she just... stayed. Staring. Unmoving.