rebelledforyou | (no subject)

His head had been at a permanent tilt ever since he turned her television on. He wasn't entirely sure what he was watching. He had somehow lost track of the remote in his couch shuffling and he was stuck with it. There was a woman who was crying and the man was crying as well. If this was a romance movie, it was incredibly poor quality. He had always been under the impression that romance was supposed to be happy. None of that looked happy. Why was the man crying though? Was he allowed to cry? He had hurt the woman and yet he was cupping his face and balling into his hands. Tragic.

Rose was somewhere in the apartment, but he was too consumed with this story to find her. He'd occasionally call upon her when he didn't completely understand what was happening. He tried to use his knowledge from his time with the Winchester's and his time with Rose to piece this movie together.

This couch and this television had become his closest set of friends since everything. He was recovering and trying to still grasp a human lifestyle. It was one thing to exist, but he had to learn how they did things down here. He was trying to busy himself with all these things in a futile effort to push the oncoming storm to the back of his mind. He knew it was coming. It was just a matter of when it'd arrive.

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If Dean had gone for another punch Sam would have stepped in but as the hand fell, the younger brother let out a breath. The woman, Rose, shouldn't have stepped in though. As much as he thanked her for helping Cas, this really wasn't her place to get involved. But as long as Dean didn't take a swing at her, which he really doubted would happen, they'd be alright. But it was what Cas said next that confused and bewildered him.

Sam understood the whole 'letting the power consume you' thing. Oh, did he understand that. Sam squared his shoulders and stood up straighter when Cas locked his. Wronged was the wrong word. More like violated. Destroyed. Torn apart. Yeah... Those words sounded better. And wait a second...

"You could help us fix your mess, Cas. I'm sure you have some information that could help us. And not even that... Do you have any idea how much it hurt to have you gone?" Yeah he was talking about himself but he was really talking about Dean. Dean's drinking had nearly tripled since Castiel died.

Edited 2011-12-14 01:18 (UTC)

He managed a side look to Rose, realizing he and Sam probably looked like raving psychos just barging into her home like this. He'd have to apologize later, none of this was about her, she didn't need to get in the middle of it.

And then something Cas said brought him rocketing back to the present. "Only human? Sam and I are only human...so that means we should throw in the towel? Let the world end?"

They looked less like raving psychos than he thought, probably, considering the story Castiel told her. She knew about most of what happened, and it was... it was really, really awful. Sam was right, though. It wasn't her place to step in, so now that things had deescalated from punching, she moved back, out of the way, stepped into the kitchen to put the tea on- and a second later, some coffee as well. Damn Americans and their love of coffee. After the fight was over, they could sit down and just... talk, reasonably, over some food.

The pain of losing someone was a foreign concept to Castiel. Well, maybe not entirely, but before it had been easier to deal with. Losing a brother or a sister in battle was a challenge, but it never really crippled the angel before. It never broke him down in any way. Perhaps he had failed to see what his absence could do to the Winchester's. He was possibly naive.

He did watch Rose leave and retreat into the kitchen. His gaze flickered back to Dean. "You and Sam don't need a connection to Heaven. I've--" He let out a sigh. Honesty. "I've never been without it for this long. Before was very different. I do not feel I will come back from this."

He was not trained for that life. He did not know how to function within it without his powers. He did not know his place. He did not feel he even had one anymore. Sam did have a point before though. He should have cleaned up his mess. "My knowledge of them is very limited, but I will assist in any information related capacity you require."

His eyes followed the woman's movements, listening to her move around in the kitchen. She didn't seem like a threat so he only kept one ear out for her.

Sam just didn't even know what to do or say so he just stayed quiet, running a hand over his face. Dean usually was the one to talk to Cas about things but Sam knew, in a basic sense, how the angel felt. Cas felt useless and like it would have been better if he stayed out of it.

That's how Sam felt when he and Dean split after War. Sam couldn't trust himself around hunting so he tried to call it quits. But nobody ever gets to call it quits, fallen angel or not. He let out a breath and shifted on his feet. The younger Winchester really didn't know what the hell to do about this. He'd just let Dean handle this. His brother spoke angel better than he did. Or so he thought.

Edited 2011-12-23 20:04 (UTC)